OK, naughty, naughty (couldn't help myself!): Popular Seattle radio personality Bob Rivers parodied Hootie & The Blowfish's '95 #6 hit "Only Wanna Be With You" as part of his "Twisted Tunes" series on KISW. A sad tale about a man's "shortcomings". Parody song?
Little me, my nuts are as small as pearls,
You like to laugh at me because I'm hung just like a squirrel.
Sometimes it bugs me, I'm not a bigger guy,
When I was a baby it was exactly the same size.
But there's nothing I can do, cause I only got a 3 inch tool.
Come home with me, have a cocktail at my place,
I gotta tell you before we get past 2nd base.
In my pants, ain't no big schwing,
But if you can find him he's a friendly little thing.
But there's nothing I can do,I only got a 3 inch tool.
When I'm coming outta the pool, I only got a 1 inch tool.
Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever extend,
I get embarrassed when I'm hangin' with my friends.
They like to razz me, I don't know why.
They get me a Happy Meal and super-size my fries.
There's nothing I can do, I only got a 3 inch tool.
And when I'm coming outta the pool, I only got a 1 inch tool.
Yea, it's small but it's real cool, I'm happy with a 3 inch tool!
I only got a 3 inch tool!